Hope everyone is enjoying this beautiful day.  Check out my new blog for BabyCenter.com about Kids and Philanthropy.

Lisa Lori

Kids and philanthropy: giving begins at home

BabyCenter Guest Blogger

By: Lisa Lori, President, Lisa Lori Communications
Remember when your parents told you to appreciate what you had? “Think about all of the starving children in the world!”
In those days, helping others consisted of Trick or Treating for UNICEF at Halloween or donating cans for an annual holiday food drive.
Today, there are so many more options for families to participate in philanthropy that are fun, educational and truly inspiring. In fact, children and young adults have become the most motivated volunteers and fundraisers because once they find a cause they love, they dedicate themselves with gusto! Some of the best ideas come from kids themselves.

But like anything else in our busy lives, getting started is always the hardest part. To find a cause or organization that resonates with your family, research it together based on criteria you all can agree on. Identifying a cause can be as simple as picking one to help or remember a loved one or helping with clean up efforts for your favorite park.
My family was motivated by a surgeon who helped my three children who were born with a rare medical condition called facial paralysis that required facial transplant surgery. He talked to us about a charity he volunteered for called Operation Smile, an international children’s charity dedicated to providing life-changing surgeries to children born with cleft or other facial deformities. They make kids smile. We were sold.
We have become so engaged with Operation Smile that we now think of them as part of our extended family. My children have designed invitations with their own artwork, told their story through interviews and later this year will volunteer on a mission. Every task engages them differently.

Explaining the how and why of you are getting involved with a particular organization is key. The more I tell them where the money you raise will go to (research, building a house, buying food) or how providing helping hands to an organization helps them (feed people, give them medical aid, provide an operation), the more my children want to help.
Volunteering together as a family bonds us and gives us opportunities to discuss subjects and feelings with children they may not otherwise understand or feel comfortable communicating. In our case, it wasn’t always easy to explain to our children why they were born with physical challenges but when we opened up our lives to others, they not only met incredible people but it gave them a forum to discuss their condition and share their experience. It helps heal us in a way that practical medicine never could.
Last year, when San Francisco parents Audrey & Rip Gerber’s oldest son Robby, 14 (then 13) suggested to his parents that they do a monthly volunteer activity they thought it would be a fleeting idea. After the first shift, Robby and his brother Max, 12, were energized to do more. Now, each month they go to the San Francisco Food Bank and help out together. Robby says, “It makes me feel good helping someone who is not as fortunate as me.”

Most people who engage in philanthropy say the same thing, by giving to others I get back so much more back than I give. Children respond to volunteering in the same way and it can lead to a lifetime of giving to others. Philanthropy teaches them about service and kindness at an early age and may inform their life choices about careers, friendship and tolerance.
Philanthropy helps children understand the world around them in a unique and vital way. I encourage everyone to take the time and give this gift to your child.

Lisa Lori is president of Lisa Lori Communications, a pr firm specializing in non profit and lifestyle marketing. She is the mother of three boys ages 11, 9 and 8. Her philanthropic work includes the recently launched fundraising initiative with Operation Smile called, The Three Little Bears, named after her children.

Lisa Lori is featured as a BabyCenter Guest Blogger

How to foster empathy for disabled kids
BabyCenter Guest Blogger

 
Lisa Lori is President of Lisa Lori Communications and mother to three boys ages 10, 8, and 7.
Most parents feel nervous bringing their child to school for the first time, signing them up for a town sport or letting them go on their first play date but, for the parent of the disabled or special needs child these rites of passage can be downright frightening. There are steps you can take to help create a positive experience for your child that will help them to thrive and be accepted.
As the mother of three children with disabilities, I believe fostering empathy – not sympathy – for them among their peers, teachers, parents and community is invaluable. You don’t have to have a disabled or special needs child to know that all children can benefit from learning to understand and care for others.
Here are 7 ways to foster empathy
1) Empathy Versus Sympathy
Empathy is more complex than sympathy, it is the ability to understand others and to put yourself in someone else’s situation. Children can learn empathy at a young age – as early as 2 or 3 years old. Empathy begins with your behavior and actions. I am amazed at the comments I hear parents ignore or tolerate – “She’s stupid” or “That teacher is terrible”. When your child hears this language, ask them how they would feel if someone called them a name.
2) Educate Your School About Your Child
Many disabled and special needs children are pre-judged because of a lack of communication about the child. Meet with teachers and administrators frequently to review your child’s needs and goals. Each year I meet new teachers and hear, “Yes, sure I understand, no problem.” When I check in three weeks later, there are many more follow-up questions. Whether it is the first time or the 100th time, it is never easy to explain to others what your child’s disability or special needs are but it is vital to communicate on an ongoing basis.
3) Visit the Classroom
Kindergarten is the age I chose to first talk to my son’s class. Ask kids if they know anyone who has been in the hospital or has glasses, and you will get a thousand funny answers. Explain how or why your child has a disability, “Luke can’t hear very well so he wears a hearing aid just like your mom wears glasses.” All of a sudden that strange thing he wears on his head isn’t so weird anymore. Soon their friends won’t see the disability anymore because they understand it.
 
4) Create a Community of Support for Your Child
Make friends with the parents of your child’s classmates. Don’t wait for a phone call asking you for a play date, take the first step. Get to know families and invite kids to your house to play, this will allow you to answer questions that help de-mystify the disability. I have met many parents of disabled children who say “he is doing ok in school but he doesn’t have many friends”. Begin at an early age and you and your child will reap the benefits. It is harder to make fun of the child they know than the one that they don’t.
5) Volunteer
There is no better way to make sure your child is in a safe environment then by getting to know the people who they are surrounded by at school or sports and by them getting to know you. My husband coached as many teams as possible to help answer questions and introduce our kids to other children. This gave them important moral support when they were most vulnerable.
6) Build Self Esteem
Whenever my children ask me why they have to have surgery and other children don’t, I tell them that many people have challenges, theirs are simply on the outside. I give examples of people to admire who have overcome great physical or emotional challenges. We tell them every day they are loved and we set high expectations for them in school, life and behavior. Their inner confidence exceeds any physical limitations they may have.
7) Give Your Child or Their Siblings Tools to Discuss Disabilities
My children’s disabilities are complex so I give them simple ways to explain to other children what they are. It is easy to walk away from a child that asks uncomfortable questions about your child. Instead of being uncomfortable, it can become the beginning of a friendship.
Relationships are the key to fostering empathy and understanding for all children. Kindness counts in our family and no one is ever too young or too old to learn!

Lisa Lori is the founder of LLC (Lisa Lori Communications) where she works closely with brands including IFF, HobNob Wines, the Alzheimer’s Association, New York Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, Grammy nominated artist Sophie B. Hawkins, The School of American Ballet, the Princess Grace Foundation, NYC Opera, and WJ Deutsch & Sons. Lisa lives in Connecticut with her husband, three sons and their beautiful golden retriever Corduroy.